April 6, 2011 – No Observation of Validity

Blank page, Blank page – why do you mock me so?

Blank page, Blank page – where do my thoughts go?

Blank page, Blank page – why must you steal from me?

Blank page, Blank page – oh, let my words type free!

Emptiness is as pure as fulfillment reflecting two dimensions of the same universe contained within. A page without words speaks as much true volume as a page built out with complex sentences, dangling participles and vivid vocabulary.

It is not mass that determines weight in writing, it is matter.

Says the writer who is unable to think of anything to write about tonight.

Imagine the breadth of your deepest, most joyous intellect gently wafting its way around the hemispheres of your brain percolating a full bodied brew of wonderfully whimsical wisdom.

Then write it down, send it to me so that I have something to post on here.

🙂

Peace.

April 5, 2011 – Earlier Today

Time line:

5:30 AM – After second snooze is insufficient and alarm actually goes off, I force myself to get up out of bed and hop on the mini-elliptical for 45 minutes. Feeling a bit reluctant and sluggish, like a snail headed towards the salt mines.

11:30 AM – Following a series of extremely annoying technical difficulties, it was time for a break. Off to the gym to run a couple of miles feeling like a humpback trapped in a tiger trapped in a mouse stuck on a wheel going nowhere in a black hole.

1:30 PM – The sneezing began again as if I am in yet another episode of the Twilight Zone where all the world has disappeared and the air has been replaced with nothing more than tree spores that I am allergic to.

3:30 PM – Still sneezing and my hunger resembles a craving pregnant hippo who hasn’t eaten in a week miles from the nearest edible healthy snack and yet surrounded by trees that I am allergic to but cannot eat.

6:00 PM – Finally home and scarfed down pasta and pork for dinner like a kid raised by wolves separated from the pack without food in a forest of trees I am allergic to.

9:00 PM – Kleenex stuffed up my nose following another failed attempt to stop the snot faucet by way of antihistamine surrounded by wads and wads of tissue, probably made from trees that I am allergic to, feeling more and more like a spastic sprinkler head turned full blast sputtering every few seconds as someone steps on my hose repeatedly as a cruel joke because I am surrounded by trees I am allergic to!

April 3, 2011 – Bills, Baseball and Standardized Testing

The lines between “real job,” “day job,” and “career” seem to get blurred over the weekend. Instead of spending my Saturday and Sunday relaxing from my 9-5/M-F day-job, I spend it completing a myriad of activities or chores to take care of my real job as a parent, marriage partner and homeowner. The stress of making sure I succeed in my weekday position and ensure it is a career that helps pay for our life as parents and partners carries over into my level of ability to motivate myself to get all of this other stuff done at home and be a Zen-Mom, Out-of-this-World-Wife and Happy Homemaker. And vice versa – the stress of not being able to keep our house in order, our kids healthy/clean/argue-free 100% of the time, our marriage as sturdy as the Cleavers but with lots of extra spice, and our budget on track effects my competence as an employee for someone else.

Then add on top of that, my deepest heart’s desire to be a published writer in my own right who frequently participates in spoken-word performances.

I know I’ve written out before the mathematical equivalence of how many hours each of these responsibilities to myself, my family and my employer takes and it does not compute into anything near reality based on the current theories of the space-time continuum.

Please note: I understand I am not alone in these struggles. I recognize there are millions of working moms out there who go through this. I write about it here in wonderment of how many other women out there let these daily situations of necessity get them down so low that they want to hide away in a distant land under a different name, new hair color and much cooler outfits.

We should start some sort of group together where our anthem is “Hey, I hear ya and I totally get it. I’ve already packed my bags, picked out my new name, and have my appointment at the hairdresser for my move to Shangri-La.”

Of course, starting a group like that would require some time to organize and coordinate. Then there would be the time spent getting together to recite our anthem and come up with ways to accomplish everything we want to get done more efficiently. Let’s not forget the time it would take to implement these awesome plans, learning curves for those they will affect and general maintenance.

Maybe it would be easier to master Einstein’s theory of relativity and build my own time machine making it possible to be in multiple places at once.

Or, I could believe “enough is enough” for today, celebrate whatever victories I did achieve, mourn the losses and chill the fuck out.

🙂 Peace.