Time line:

5:30 AM – After second snooze is insufficient and alarm actually goes off, I force myself to get up out of bed and hop on the mini-elliptical for 45 minutes. Feeling a bit reluctant and sluggish, like a snail headed towards the salt mines.

11:30 AM – Following a series of extremely annoying technical difficulties, it was time for a break. Off to the gym to run a couple of miles feeling like a humpback trapped in a tiger trapped in a mouse stuck on a wheel going nowhere in a black hole.

1:30 PM – The sneezing began again as if I am in yet another episode of the Twilight Zone where all the world has disappeared and the air has been replaced with nothing more than tree spores that I am allergic to.

3:30 PM – Still sneezing and my hunger resembles a craving pregnant hippo who hasn’t eaten in a week miles from the nearest edible healthy snack and yet surrounded by trees that I am allergic to but cannot eat.

6:00 PM – Finally home and scarfed down pasta and pork for dinner like a kid raised by wolves separated from the pack without food in a forest of trees I am allergic to.

9:00 PM – Kleenex stuffed up my nose following another failed attempt to stop the snot faucet by way of antihistamine surrounded by wads and wads of tissue, probably made from trees that I am allergic to, feeling more and more like a spastic sprinkler head turned full blast sputtering every few seconds as someone steps on my hose repeatedly as a cruel joke because I am surrounded by trees I am allergic to!