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April 19, 2011 – Off the Grid

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I will be going off the grid for approximately 2 1/2 days which is equivalent to about 60 hours straight, at the beginning of May. I am going with my son’s fifth grade class on the annual 3-day camping trip without access to cell service or internet connections.

I was oddly elated at the news. The only thing that has me bummed about it is that I will not be able to call home and talk to my daughter. Even when our kids stay overnight with my folks or my mother-in-law, I make sure to speak to them every day or night. This will be the first time in ten years my daughter and I have not heard each others voices, especially right before bedtime. 😦

Other than that, I am excited to be in nature with my son, will stay in denial about how insane/stinky/claustrophobic it might get with 89 5th graders from our school alone, will suck it up to spend time with parents I wouldn’t normally chose to hang-with, and look forward to meeting the numerous parents I am not acquainted with yet.

It’s not true roughing it as we will be in cabins with bunk beds and air conditioning, catered meals and access to a swimming pool, however, we will learn about limnology, orienteering, forces of nature, terrestrial ecology, and so much more! (Of course, I wasn’t sure what they were talking about on a few of these, but I’m going to do some pre-studying so I can make sure to be smarter than a fifth grader…)

Maybe I’ll even write my post out with something called a “pen” and “paper” although I hear the delete key doesn’t work quite the same as what I am accustomed to using.

April 18, 2011 – Counting Here, There, and Everywhere

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“There are many ways to believe about the force we call god…as many ways as there are flower petals, as many ways as there are thoughts.”
~ Stacey, a.k.a., AnyMommy

I read a beautiful post today and while I will not attempt to match the eloquence with which she addressed such an incredibly personal subject, she has made think (among other things) about how we – and by “we”, I mean “I” – quantify belief and faith.

If I have learned at least one thing in my short 43 years, it is that I cannot – literally and figuratively – speak for anyone else unless possibly given a signed, written statement notarized three ways to Sunday, sealed with incontrovertible DNA and a thorough background check. And even then, I would hesitate profusely before attempting it.

Current world population estimates have us near 7 billion humans on Earth. Seven billion. Seven billion hearts beating at their own pace. Seven billion pairs of eyes seeing, or not seeing, the world through a one-of-a-kind vision. An equal amount of ears listening, or not listening, in some way to seven billion voices speaking seven billion different vocal patterns. Seven billion minds contemplating an exponentially larger number of ideas, thoughts and beliefs. Seven billion singularly singular filters processing it all.

To say there is only one way to be a “believer” seems, well, a bit short-sighted, imho.

However, if that is what someone chooses to believe, then I would hope that same someone would offer respect and courtesy to the other 6,999,999,999 humans in regards to their beliefs.

Just saying…

April 15, 2011 – From Amoeba to Work

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I had a very strong existential out-of-mind-body-Talking-Heads-How-Did-I-Get-Here consciousness overtake me for a few moments today.

And not just for me on how I went from a kid playing Star Trek with my best friends Alan and Alisa for hours and hours in the warm afternoon San Antonio sunshine without a thought for anything else (except maybe the Koogle peanut butter sandwiches Mrs. Polanski would have for us) but the imaginary aliens we needed to eliminate from the Enterprise with our make-believe phasers and never-dreamed-possible communicators to dashing away from my office where I am under-web-development-water and writing informational releases about water restrictions and zebra muscles so I can pick-up my new hybrid contact lenses designed to help me see better despite my astigmatism, drop off my shared tax return so my spouse can get it and the stupid chunk of change we owe in the mail and get back in time to explain to someone how to make usable bar graphs in Excel, adjust some graphics in Adobe’s Creative Suite, and be done in time to leave early in order to pick-up-then-drive my daughter to her ballet technique dance class.

If I sit still and breath quietly enough, I can remember the nearly 35 year evolutionary journey my particular mind and body have been on to get  here. It’s quite the epic adventure from an idealistic and ambitious youth defined by infinite immortality to naive and reckless young adulthood filled with dreams of fame and fortune to frightened yet uber-responsible grownup peppered with aspirations of artistic purity and sainthood.

What struck me was how did not only I get from a simple creature existing among green trees and tall grass, foraging for food from my nearby surroundings and caring for my offspring to where I covet my Blackberry, MacBook and iPod, stress over the price of gas and coffee, and pray I am not screwing up my kids too badly but, on a larger scale, how did we all get here?

I know it will probably solidify my membership in the “whack-job” club, however, I truly had a momentary feeling of grief for that lost simplicity brought on by the multi-millennia of progress. It was if I could feel the cold, fresh water from a slow moving stream in the palm of my hands, smell the crisp, strong vegetation blooming everywhere and see my hands dirty with the pure red clay under my feet.

Mostly, in this flashback, I mourned the lack of worry this woman of extinction embodied. Life was life for her. She didn’t owe taxes on top of car payments on top of child care fees on top of a mortgage. She wasn’t concerned whether or not she doing enough for her children. She never dwelled on her aging face and memory, nor did she fret over whether her mate did either. She did not whittle away her lifetime contemplating her true purpose.

She simply spent each day inhaling, then exhaling and doing whatever came next to keep that pattern going.