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February 3, 2011 – I Got Nothing

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I’ve almost made it an entire month and tonight – I got nuthin’.

I think the ice storm is truly affecting my words putting together story making stuff from the area that thinks stuff up I usually have when there isn’t so much freaking cold air not melting anything going on!

I have always believed that Alaska is my soul’s safe haven – ready and waiting should I never truly need to escape this life and trade it in for another one. I was born and raised in Texas but Alaska has been that mythical place of fantasy for me.

However, with the amount of wimping out I am feeling after a mere three full days of frigid temps (below 20) and solid white patches of peril everywhere  – I am wondering what the hell could I have been thinking all these years? I wouldn’t last twenty minutes up in Alaska! (Don’t even get me started on what kind of women they elect for gubernatorial representation!)

I had the opportunity to chill (ok, seriously only caught that pun in the editing process, so I am leaving it) at home today – something I am always complaining I never have enough of – and instead, I worked, did dishes, laundry and worried about whether my kids were warm enough (when I would remember they were outside.)

I could have written this blog entry earlier when the house was quiet, I could have exercised and not eaten like a total fool with the cabin jitters after only three hours.

Coulda, shoulda, didna…

Arf.

February 1, 2011 – Icy Conditions Persist

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We got our annual arctic blast here in the North Texas region today and it is cold. Even though Fargo-ites might consider it merely brisk, 10 degrees is damn cold to a Texan.

So cold, it’s frozen my freaking brain.

While many others in my neck of the universe were stuck at home with schools closed and impassible roads, I had to climb in my car, make the treacherous trek to the office, and force my brain to multitask, prioritize and disseminate pertinent information.

“I’ve giv’n her all she’s got, Cap’n – I canna give her no more!”

Although – happy plug the 2010 Subaru Forester – my sweet Sachi drove terrific on the icy roads today.

January 31, 2011 – Learning from Youth

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The ideas we have when we are young are so amazingly fresh and pure. And, I’m not talking teen years – I was already angst ridden and jaded by then. I’m referring to the single digit years. When I was 7, 8 and 9 years old, I could feel God in the sunshine, see fantastical creatures in the clouds, and know without question that I was going to be a famous actress raising a passel of kids with enough time to save whales and frogs across the world.

As I grew older, my dreams became fragmented and began a juxtaposition dance of interchange that would last beyond the writing of this post. I have forgotten more terrific ideas to travel the universe, stop world wars and cure cancer than there are shapes of snowflakes. I have let countless dreams slip from my retained memory banks of becoming an attorney, Olympic equestrian, President of the United States, Tony Award Winning Playwright/Actress and astronaut.

Except one.

A dream that never lost first hold in my heart nor one I ever imagined giving up to see any one of the others jump to the head of the line. That’s how I know it was the dream for me – I wasn’t willing to sacrifice it to gain anything else. And I continue to dream it even though it has already come true.

Three times.

Once when I married my best friend.

The second time when our son was born.

And the third, when our daughter arrived.

Family is one blessed dream I am so very grateful I never let go as the years have piled on. And it is one I hope to pass along to our kids by telling them every day what a dream come true they are for not only me, but also for the world they will help shape with their ideas and dreams.